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1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream \"Oh my God! They\'ve found me!\" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can\'t get the darn thing to work. After he/she\'s turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it\'s set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the \"Smurfs\" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don\'t know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

11. Bring a chainsaw, but don\'t use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say \"Just in case...\" mysteriously.

12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they\'re crazy while typing.

14. Light candles around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, \"Oops, I forgot.\"

16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray \"Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease,\" and scream \"YES!\" when it finishes.

17. \"DISK FIGHT!!!\"

18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

20. If you\'re sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing \"The Lion Sleeps Tonight\" whenever there is processing time required.

21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2\" disc drive, when it doesn\'t work, get the supervisor.

23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it\'s all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grind some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor\'s keyboard as you leave.

28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

31. Laugh hysterically, shout \"You will all perish in flames!!!\" and continue working.

32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

34. Attempt to eat your computer\'s mouse.

35. Borrow someone else\'s keyboard by reaching over, saying \"Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?\", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn\'t affected). Then look at your neighbor\'s keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: \"Does *your* delete key work?\" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you\'ve deleted about a page of your neighbor\'s document. Then, suddenly excl.. \"Well, whaddya know? I\'ve been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn\'t deleting! Ha!\" Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer\'s Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the screen of the person next to you, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say \"You did that?\" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell \"COVEEEEERRRRRR!\" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. \"Oh, good. It worked this time,\" and calmly start to type again.

43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

44. See who\'s online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you\'ve known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you\'re a total stranger.

45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it\'s the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn\'t work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim \"You\'re such a marvel!!\", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout \"Armageddon is here!!!!!\", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, \"Give me that computer or you\'ll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week\".

50. Two words: Tesla Coil.



Rasteron January 25 2006 - 04:15:30
haha halarious!!! I wish I had one of these on my record instead of the NET SEND message saying "hi" to everyone in my county... Pfft
Hedgyon January 25 2006 - 05:30:36
LOL Friggn Hiliarity man. Had me cackln for a good 5 minutes
MnDanon January 25 2006 - 13:29:11
haha yeah i did #6 after i saw this, except i didn't have a smufs song so i used the theme song to happy tree friends Pfft
godon January 25 2006 - 13:45:55
nice B)
system_meltdownon January 25 2006 - 16:13:56
My one was making a batch file with... :loop NET SEND * Llama llama duck goto loop hehe pissed loadsa people off, whole school got it, even people in staffroom
The Reaperon January 25 2006 - 17:14:41
lmao i got to try some of them out Pfft
Nubzzzon January 25 2006 - 21:36:20
ROFL ROFL ROFL this is the best article I have every seen!
The Reaperon January 25 2006 - 23:33:36
its fuckin hilarious
hack4uon January 26 2006 - 00:09:52
Thank you i knew it would give out some kicks o btw the reads doesnt work. Sad
Lainon January 27 2006 - 03:55:42
way to go, you discovered copy AND paste Angry
Lainon January 27 2006 - 03:56:36
ick! I stretched the screen can someone please edit that
Darth_Pengoon January 28 2006 - 10:29:33
"50. Two words: Tesla Coil. " <-- BEST ONE EVER
PostalCyberon January 29 2006 - 11:28:16
BluMooseon February 05 2006 - 16:10:29
ROFLMAO!!!! LMAO, I gotta try these XD
winczron May 30 2006 - 23:27:34
doucle ROLMAO. i don this stuff all the time
lou987654321on July 08 2006 - 05:52:07
maybee i will try one when the school year starts agianGrin
soloon August 17 2006 - 12:54:49
Grin lmao i surely try 1st wayGrin
Bigmac693on August 25 2006 - 21:25:07
This is fucking hilarious!! Thanx for bringing some humor to this site!
Intocksifyon December 14 2006 - 01:44:23
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ROFLMAO This is sooooooo f'ing hilarious!!! Thanx fer this!
manticoreon August 28 2007 - 15:24:00
I was doing a Wi-Fi practical lab in class recently. Since we were just on an Ad-Hoc network, I just started using NET SEND left, right, and center. Wonders of a little extra smarts, eh? Anyway, great lulz to be had.
pSyChO mOnkeeon January 22 2008 - 20:45:50
those are great Grin
-skitzo-on January 24 2008 - 03:30:51
LOL The one about the disk drive eating my disk made me laugh the most. And then it continues with putting glue around it and claiming it's drooling! Grin
-skitzo-on January 24 2008 - 03:31:39
LOL The one about the disk drive eating my disk made me laugh the most. And then it continues with putting glue around it and claiming it's drooling! Grin
Smasheron February 29 2008 - 22:32:30
hahahahahahaha Grin Grin Grin
Smasheron February 29 2008 - 22:33:26
hahahahahahaha Grin Grin Grin
Slash0Driveon March 29 2008 - 03:01:17
Funny! There is lots of versions of these things, I like the one about Wal-mart and the one about the bathroom.
thetrojan01on April 19 2009 - 21:26:32
the last one with Tesla Coil was funny! Pfft
S4NT4 CL4U5on August 20 2009 - 08:36:20
hahahhahah... Can't say I haven't done any of these before. Smile
S4NT4 CL4U5on August 20 2009 - 08:36:39
hahahhahah... Can't say I haven't done any of these before. Smile
kodeizxon July 27 2010 - 16:13:42
WTF dude....?Angry
kodeizxon July 27 2010 - 16:14:35
WTF dude....?Angry
Mtutnidon October 07 2010 - 14:43:28
Why is everyone double posting? Nice article. I have to try at least 5 of these.
worldblackstaron January 28 2011 - 17:38:28
ha..ha..i can not stop laughing. Very very funny. Grin
77mod77on March 04 2011 - 08:55:58
WTF dude....? Smile Hilarious man.....!!!!! SmileSmileSmileSmileSmile
4rm4g3dd0non April 18 2012 - 19:23:00
But 4rm4g3dd0n really is here .... muhhahahahaha
Adam Winchesteron May 18 2014 - 09:01:03
WTF!! This are the worse things to do
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